Don’t Tell Nel!

In 2009 my mother, Patty, decided she would like to take her family to the Big Island of Hawaii. She had time shares in a condo, so she acquired two waterfront rooms for seven days in Kona. There were four families in the group. Mom’s husband had recently experienced a heart attack and was in a rehabilitation center, so mom had a spare airline ticket. She asked her niece, Gae,  to join her.

Gae was four years younger than mom. (Because mom was born about 20 years after her sister – Gae’s mom.) Mom was 83 at the time, and Gae was 79. They had grown up together in the town of Anacortes, Washington and were best friends.

Gae has eight children, six girls and two boys. She also has ten gazillion and counting grand and great grandchildren. They all live and work in the town of Anacortes and, quite unusual, they all like each other.

The family surrounds their mom and grandmother, meeting her needs and inviting her out to meals. She is up early making breakfast for whoever stops by, but Gae says that there is rarely a day where someone doesn’t pick her up for dinner.

Because of the mass of family who are part of her life, Gae has learned how to text. Not just with one finger, but a double thumb speed typer. Even now in her 90s, her phone vibrates every three minutes, and she fires back a reply.

There appears that in the hierarchy of her children, there is one who is more protective of her — her second daughter, Nel. I got the impression when we were in Hawaii that Nel could or could not be told about certain aspects of the trip.

Let me share some of our adventures from the island and what I saw Gae text her kids.

First, we went to the north of the island where we all experienced zip-lining. Because my mom had a previous heart attack, she was prohibited from going. Gae texted:

Went zip-lining today. The owner asked if my 79-year-old heart was up to it. The last zip was extreme. Quarter mile long, straight down, 50 mph. Almost peed. DON’T TELL NEL!

Second, we went to a large lagoon which was filled with fish and turtles. Neither mom nor Gae had ever snorkeled before. Mom had always been afraid to put her face in the water. I decided that this was their once and maybe last chance to experience snorkeling, so I gave them a mask and snorkel and took them into the water and pulled them one at a time as they floated and watched the sea creatures. Gae texted:

Marty pulled me around a lagoon today and I snorkeled for the first time. Saw turtles, colorful fish, and a shark. Patty got a wave in her snorkel, panicked, and almost drowned herself and Marty. The Hawaiian lifeguards are hunks. DON’T TELL NEL!

Third, we drove to the Kilauea Caldera. The volcanic gas (vog) was so thick, mom was barred by the Ranger from going into the park. This was because of her age and prior heart attack. Her car went back to Kona. Gae was in my car and we were allowed into the park. Gae texted:

Went to a volcano tonight. They wouldn’t let Patty in.  She was hot as a wet rooster! The view at night from the rim was amazing but the vog was so bad it plugged my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. DON’T TELL NEL!

Fourth, we went to a popular surfing beach with my friend Dave who was managing maintenance at a resort. Dave insisted on standing in the surf with his glasses on even though we all warned him against it. Gae texted:

Walked out in the surf today with Marty’s friend Dave. Dave was explaining to me how to stand with my back to the waves. We got hit with a sneaker wave which knocked us over. Dave lost his glasses. I got rolled end over end under water and got spit up on the shore. I’m still pooping sand. DON’T TELL NEL!

Finally, we went to a luau. It was an opportunity for the ladies to dress in their best Hawaiian dresses. Gae texted:

Had a fun night at a luau. All the girls looked beautiful in their Hawaiian dresses. We even bought leis for the evening. The different food was interesting and the dancers with their fire batons were amazing. I didn’t know the grass skirts would catch fire so easily. I’ve heard of Baked Alaska but now I know the meaning of Burnt Hawaiian. Planning on being home in a few days. You can tell Nel.

So, you see Nel, your mom is a little more daring when she is away from home. I’m sure you will find that Gae is good at keeping secrets when she is having fun.

 Anyway, what goes around comes around. I remember your favorite line when we were teens: You would put your finger to your lips, look both ways and whisper, “Shhh, don’t tell mom!”

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