From Duh to Daniel

My wife says that the only reason I have ears is to neutralize the pressure to my Eustachian tubes because obviously I never listen to a single thing she has to say. Apparently she is referring to last Sunday when I met her in the car after church.

“Did you see Mrs. Critchet’s hair? It’s bright blue!” I exclaimed.

“Duh!” she huffed. “I only mentioned it five times this week.”

“Duh”- a three letter word that can drag you to the depths of humiliation.

What is duh; what does it even mean? The Collins Dictionary states that the word Duh is an ironic response to a question or statement, implying that the speaker is stupid or that the reply is obvious.

It seems that all through school I would hear the word spoken by one impatient person to another and most of the time to me. The way it is spoken depends on your personal taste in sarcasm. Some might choose to say Duh with the same short twang of a bow string being released. Others may prefer to pronounce the word low and guttural like the sound a toad makes when you drive over it with your car.

Duh moments happen all the time. Think about the last time you were in your house at night and all of a sudden the lights go black. In no time at all someone will say, “The power went out.” Don’t you want to blurt out, “Well Duh Einstein?”

Historical Duh moments occurred on the Titanic when one panicked passenger turned to another in water up to his nose and yells, “We’re sinking!” Or how about the after the Seahawk’s second Super Bowl try when Russell walks up to Coach Carroll after the game and says, “We should have given it to Marshawn.”

I would go so far as to even point out a good one in the Bible:

Many of you may have heard the story of Daniel in the lion’s den. It happens to be found in the 6th chapter of Daniel in the Bible. If you haven’t heard it, let me give you the back story.

The King at the time was named Darius. His kingdom was so large, he appointed 120 officers to rule throughout the land. Three administrators were appointed over the officers, one of which was Daniel. Darius was so impressed by Daniel’s abilities; he set to make him leader over all of his officers.

Jealousy from the underlings caused them to find a way to bring Daniel to ruin before the king. Going to King Darius, they asked him to make a decree that no man could pray to anyone but the king. Doing so would mean death. Hearing this, Daniel went home and in front of his open windows he prayed to his God. The officers seeing him break the decree took Daniel before King Darius demanding that he be put to death. Though Darius greatly admired Daniel, he was forced to order him lowered into the lion’s den.

As Daniel was being lowered, King Darius yelled, “May the God you worship save you!”

Though we do not know Daniel’s exact conversation with God at this moment, it may have gone like this….

Daniel: “I knew this was going to be a bad idea. I put myself on public display praying to you and look what happened. I’m being lowered into a lion pit!”

God: “Fear not Daniel for I am with you.”

Daniel: “Well that’s easy for you to say. Do you understand that the lions are going to tear me up? Those beasts are jumping up in the air at me. Look at their size. Look at their claws. Look at their teeth. Listen to their roar. Do you understand what lion’s are?”

God: “Yeah. I made them. Fear not Daniel for I am with you.”

Daniel: “Hey, one just tore my cloak. They can almost reach me! They…. hey… they are laying down. Hey God, the lion’s are laying down!”

God: “I know. I just did that. You sleep now. The lions will not touch you. I will be back in the morning.”

Daniel: “What? Where are you going?”

God: “Your friends Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are about to be tossed into a fiery furnace. I need to be there for them too. Fear not Daniel for I am with you.”

Daniel: “God. I smell cat breath.”

The next morning King Darius ran to the mouth of the lion’s den.

“Daniel did your God save you?” he shouted.

“Yes indeed he did!” Daniel shouted back. The king had him immediately raised from the den. He then had all the accusers of Daniel rounded up with their families and all were thrown into the lion’s den where they perished.

Daniel: “God, you should have seen it. All night long the lions lay in a circle around me. Not once did they raise their heads. Not once did they snarl. Not once was I in any trouble.”

God: “Duh.”

In conclusion, don’t be quick to use the word. We all speak. We all say dumb things. Use your words to build up not to humiliate. Consider that we are lucky to even have mouths and remember what my mom always said, “If God hadn’t given you a mouth, you’d be speaking out your nose.”

Duh!

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