The Wish List

When my wife was away I took it upon myself to snoop in her private file cabinet. Going past the files on nutritional eating, aerobics, and personal training, I came across a file named “Wish List.” This piqued my curiosity and upon thumbing through various photos torn from the pages of Better Homes and Gardens, I came across a list, hand-written on a page of notebook paper. It looked like her criteria for a husband.

I read each of the entries carefully to see how well I matched up.

1. Should be attractive inside and out and is the envy of my friends.
2. Should have all the means for me to live comfortably.
3. Will hold my kids.
4. Has plenty of life left.
5. Should be able for me to control single-handedly.
6. A comfort in bed.
7. Can climb hills without getting hot.
8. If overworked, will not smell gassy.
9. Can agree on a contract I can easily escape from.
10. Should be easy to dump if I see another which is better.

Incensed that she had these criteria of me which I never knew about, I waited until she arrived back at home.

“Thirty-four years we have been married.  All this time you have kept this list hidden! Where is the trust? Where is the commitment?”

She took the list from my clenched fist and gazed at it.

“This is my wish list for a used motorhome.”

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