Categories
Satire Stories

Fat Fingers

My wife and I have the same crossword puzzle app on our phones. Each day they send a new puzzle and it’s the same for everyone who has the app. At dinner, we both load the puzzle on our phones and have a race to see who can finish it first. In the two years that we’ve been competing, I can count on one hand, (which is missing a few fingers), the number of times I have beaten her.

Categories
Satire Stories

Something Forgotten

Authors Note: Many years ago, I wrote the music for Something Forgotten which was produced in a studio and performed live in the theater. The music had no story or lyrics. Finally, after many years, I present the story. You may enjoy playing the song as you read the story.

Categories
Inspirational Stories

The Music Man

Author’s note: In April of 2005 I had the opportunity to perform this song for Ralph Pauley at the Alumni Band’s spring concert (video is below). I was helped with the talents of Alumni Band members and the BHS Swing Choir. In August of 2005 he passed away. It was an honor to play for the Music Man.

I knew a man who had his own band, the Bellingham High School Red Raider Band. The first time I met him I was the young age of ten. He marched his whole band to the far side of town, and he showed my small school how big band should sound. He showed off each instrument and he challenged the children to play. The thing that I saw in the eyes of his band when he raised his baton and he tapped on his stand was a sense of respect and admiration for the man and I knew . . . it was an honor to play for the Music Man. They marched straight and tall for the Music Man. They gave it their all for the Music Man was their mentor, their teacher, their friend.

Categories
Inspirational Stories

Choices

Isaac Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I have been known to be a grouch at times, maybe even a curmudgeon or as my kids likes to call me, Debbie Downer. I tend to pessimistically see the glass as half empty.

Categories
Inspirational Stories

I Have Been Blessed

I have been blessed.

I have been given a job and an income my whole life.

I have been given a strong body and health.

I have been given a family who loves me and grandchildren to love.

I have been given friends who have stayed close through the years.

I have been given all that I need: food, clothing, vehicles, and a warm home.

I have been given talents: music, writing, creating.

I have been given assurance of everlasting life.

Though I may go through great trials, I have been given the assurance that I will wake up the next day and in all the days of my life, God will not once leave me.

And yet, I am a shell. I am absolutely nothing.

I am only what God has given me and what he has made me.

To God be the glory!

Faith Family Life Getting Older Growing Up Misadventures Music Patriotism Pets or Pests? Snips Tributes

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Categories
Inspirational Stories

The Journey

A wonderful, Godly, woman friend of mine shared with me a message she had received in a deep conversation with her Lord. She was asking for guidance in a situation which was causing her much heartache. She pleaded with the Lord to guide her down the right path. God’s Holy Spirit came to her during this time of deep prayer. He opened her eyes to the reality that God was not just guiding her down a path.

Categories
Satire Stories

Screech Owls

Sometimes the best laid plans work too well.

The Screech Owl- Scientific name: Megascops asio. We had many of these smaller owls in our neighborhood. The first 30 years of my life I lived in a house close to the main railroad tracks which stretched from Vancouver, B.C. down the west coast of the United States. We had so many trains travel by daily that we didn’t even notice the noise anymore. The tracks followed the top of a cliff which dropped 100+ feet down to Bellingham Bay. The sides of the cliff had layers of sand and clay. During the summer months, the Angel boys across the street (Craig and Doug) and my brother and I would spend endless hours climbing the cliffs, jumping from the cliffs, and using trails on the cliffs as the shortest distance to travel to explore the beach itself.

Categories
Satire Stories

The Duffer

My wife says I drive a duffer car. It’s a 2005 Hyundai XG350 which I bought from my stepdad and it’s not at all sporty like the cars young kids drive but who cares, I’m 65. I think she just gets cranky when she follows me in her sporty Prius C and the whole way I am driving 5 mph under the speed limit with my left turn signal on.

Categories
Inspirational Stories

The Personalized 23rd

The Lord Jesus is my shepherd. I lack for nothing!

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He gives me rest and he restores my soul.

He guides me on the paths of righteousness that I might make him proud.

Categories
Inspirational Stories

The Shadow Board

Do you ever feel underused by God? Like everyone else is being used in mighty ways and your job is to sit and watch.

“What’s the matter with me? Why don’t I get the gifts?” you ask.

Ah, but there is only one “you” and what God has given you is extremely specific and to be used in a specific way when he needs it.

Categories
Satire Stories

Patent Idea #295- Reject

This was the scene last Saturday morning. I was lying in the middle of the Guide Meridian, motorcycle helmet and protective coveralls on. Slowly I was able to get up on my hands and knees and crawl back over to the side walk.

Categories
Inspirational Stories

A Tribute to Milton

2009-2020

My granddog, Milton Barry and I walked through the tall grass to a hilly knoll overlooking the ocean. He wasn’t walking as fast in his old age, but he didn’t mind the walk together. As the afternoon sun was setting, we sat together and I laid my hand on his back.

Categories
Satire Stories

Things Never to Do: #1 & #2

Never, never, ever use Rogaine ™ that has gone beyond its expiration date.

Ah nuts!
Categories
Satire Stories

Chair Lifts

Snow skiing ranks quite high on my list of humiliations and though, through the years I have impressed others with an innate ability to humiliate myself continuously on the ski slopes, last year’s little incident which I call, “the getting to know you ride,” sums up my life on the slopes.

Categories
Inspirational Stories

Remembering Gerald Metzger

“Be careful. Don’t break it!” he growled.

“The two pieces of pipe aren’t lining up,” I said. “If I put anymore strain on this PVC elbow, I think it’s going to break.”

Gerald Metzger and I were installing new meters in the water association shutoff boxes. Gerald had for many years been the association mechanic. His dad helped found our association and it was officially known as the first registered water association in the United States. As I lay on the ground over the meter box, Gerald stood over me barking orders while staring into the hole.