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Satire Stories

The Duffer

My wife says I drive a duffer car. It’s a 2005 Hyundai XG350 which I bought from my stepdad and it’s not at all sporty like the cars young kids drive but who cares, I’m 65. I think she just gets cranky when she follows me in her sporty Prius C and the whole way I am driving 5 mph under the speed limit with my left turn signal on.

I do resent being called a Duffer though. I looked up the word and it’s defined: “an incompetent or stupid person especially an elderly person.” Used in a sentence: “He’s the most worthless old duffer.” Now in the old English they used the word “douf” meaning spiritless. The early Scott’s used the word “dowfart” meaning stupid person. I think that given the choice I prefer being called a “dowfart” simply because it makes me unique from the rest of the duffers on the road and my grandkids already call me an “Old Fart”. Is it any better being called a “New Fart”?

I think they are exaggerating but my wife says I do have a certain air about me.

Faith Family Life Getting Older Growing Up Misadventures Music Patriotism Pets or Pests? Serving Others Snips Tributes

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By Marty Mitchell

I’m Marty Mitchell, aka Captain Crash, the guy behind Mitchell Way. MitchellWay.com is the story of my misadventures in life and reflections on faith. ... Is Mitchell Way a state of mind? A real place? A way of life? Tough to say. You be the judge.

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