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Satire Stories

The Prophets of Baal

The effectiveness of a good presentation is solely dependent upon the speaker’s ability to hold their audience’s attention. (A guy named Marty.)

I had an opportunity in my 20s to work with youth groups, kids aged kindergarten through 5th grade. This was done in a church setting at vacation Bible schools, junior church, and AWANA kids clubs.

I have witnessed many techniques for teaching Bible stories to children such as the use of flannel boards and hand puppets. Yes, they work. That’s what my teachers used when I was in elementary school. But having an entrepreneurial spirit, I sought after a road less traveled. A way to illustrate a story which the kids would remember for years to come.

Then an idea came to me: illusions. (It would be inappropriate for me to use the word magic in a church setting.) I could illustrate the story I am telling by baffling the kids with my prowess as a master of illusions.

So, I set off to the hobby stores, chemical lab supply dealers, and even the magic shop in Seattle’s Pike Street Market. The goal was to find what they supplied which I could use to illustrate the lessons I was trying to teach.

For instance, at the chemistry store, I found a clear liquid that when eyedropped into water, turned the water red. This illustrated turning water into wine.

At the magic shop I bought flash paper, thumb cuffs, various colored scarves, and of course the obligatory magical wand.

From the hobby store I purchased a lantern battery, flowerpots, and model rocket igniters. When everything was collected, I had illusions for 15 stories.

Rocket Igniters

The wow rating on the illusions was different with each story. Some of the tricks, like the liquids changing colors or the thumb cuffs were like, “cool, how did he do that?”  My best one was a flash and awe trick which left the kids talking for weeks. It was illustrating the story of Elijah and the prophets of Baal.

Every great act has a partnership. George Burns had Gracie, Lucy had Desi, Pat Sajak has Vanna White, and I had a middle school boy named Kevin. I chose him because he was an outsider needing an adult friend.

Kevin didn’t fit in very well with the other middle school kids. He was nerdy, combed his hair with too much gel, and never wore clothes which were considered the trend. He liked being my assistant and we were a good team despite his over eagerness.

Now, Elijah and the prophets of Baal. Before I tell you how we made the illusion, I should tell you the story.

Found in 1 Kings, chapter 18 in the Bible, Elijah was a prophet of God. At this time in history, a man named Ahab was the king over Israel. Ahab was married to one of the wickedest women in Old Testament Bible times. Her name was Jezebel. She was the daughter of the king of the Sidonians who worshipped the god Baal. In her zeal to wipe out the worship of the God of the Jews, she gathered up the prophets of the God of Israel and had them slaughtered.

This led to a stand-off between Elijah, who had escaped the slaughter, and Ahab and Jezebel.

Elijah vs. the prophets of Baal

He challenged Ahab to a competition which would be held at Mount Carmel. He requested that all the nation of Israel meet there as well as the 450 prophets of Baal. Once everyone was there, Elijah stood before the people of Israel and asked them why they wavered between the God of Israel and the god Baal.

To prove which god was real, he proposed that two altars be made and that two slaughtered bulls be placed upon them. Whichever god consumed the altar with fire, was the true god.

Elijah allowed the prophets of Baal to go first. They danced, cut themselves, and called out to the god Baal all day long. Elijah taunted them that perhaps Baal was asleep, or using the bathroom. By evening, nothing had happened.

Elijah then built his altar with 12 stones and dug a trench around it. He slaughtered his bull and placed it on the altar. He then had the people bring 12 jars of water and he poured it over the bull and the wood it was lying on until the trench around the altar was full of water. Lastly, he called out to the God of Israel.

“Let it be known today that you are the God of Israel so your people will turn their hearts back to you.”

Then the fire of the Lord fell from the sky and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones, and the soil, and licked up the water in the trench.

This turned the people of Israel back to God. And as a short teaser clip, the people of Israel surrounded the prophets of Baal, took them to the Kishon Valley and slaughtered them. (Although this was left out of the story to avoid PTSD amongst the kids.)

The Illusion

Kevin and I spent considerable time perfecting this story. It was not without catastrophe.

First, I taped a rocket igniter to the top of a table in the room. The wires were bent so that they would fit up through the bottom drain hole on a flowerpot. Alligator clips were attached to the rocket igniter wires and 50’ of doorbell wires ran from the alligator clips to a box which contained a lantern battery and a push-button switch. The switch, when depressed, sent voltage down the wires causing the rocket igniter to super-heat.

“Ok Kevin, you are sitting way away from the trick with the power box. None of the kids know that you are involved.”

“Got it, Mr. Mitchell.”

“There are two flowerpots on the table. One represents the altar for Baal. The other pot has an igniter in it. It is the altar for the God of Israel. The wire is hidden on the back of the table and runs over to your power box.”

“There are two pieces of paper next to the flowerpots. The altar for Baal has a piece of typing paper and the altar for God has a piece of flash paper. Do you know what flash paper is, Kevin?”

“For typing really fast?”

“No Kevin. Flash paper is extremely flammable paper. If one little spark hits it, it will explode into a fireball. It’s a cool effect.”

“Now, I start with the Baal altar first. I’ll take a felt pen and write BULL in big letters on the typing paper and tear it up into little pieces and put it into the flowerpot. Then I will rant and rave like the prophets of Baal and nothing happens. Then I pretend I am Elijah. I will take the flash paper like this and write BULL on it in big letters and tear it up and put it into the igniter pot like this.”

“And I push this button?”

“Wait. No!”

Whoosh! “AGHHHHH!”

“Don’t just stand there with your mouth open, Kevin. Come here and put me out!”

And so, the night of the “Elijah and the prophets of Baal” story came. Kevin and I had previously been in the room to attach the igniter to the tabletop and run the doorbell wire along the wall to a chair at the side of the room where the power box was hidden. All the K-5th grade AWANA kids filed in and sat on the floor. As had happened during the previous weeks, I had told a story by baffling them with my illusions. The air that night was tingling with excitement.

The room lights were fully on when I began the Elijah story. When I got to the altar of the prophets of Baal, I took the piece of white typing paper and wrote BULL across it, tore it into pieces and laid it in the flowerpot. Then, pretending to be the prophets of Baal, I danced and yelled and pleaded but nothing happened to the altar.

Then I took on the character of Elijah. Taking the sheet of flash paper, I wrote BULL across it in large letters and tore the sheet, placing the pieces in its alter on the igniter. Explaining that it was evening, I turned off all the main lights except one small one at the rear of the room.

Standing away from the impending explosion I called out, “Oh Lord, my God. Consume this altar with fire that these people would turn their hearts back to you!”

As I said this, I raised my hand to the ceiling and brought it rapidly down to increase the effect of the fireball. But nothing happened. Bringing my hand up again I cried out, “Send fire from heaven, oh God.” I dropped my hand again and nothing happened.

Looking back at Kevin, he had a panicked look on his face. He shrugged his shoulders as if he had no idea why it wasn’t working. I could see him repeatedly pushing the power button.

Continuing the dramatic effect, I walked back to alter pot. Somehow, one of the alligator clips had come undone. I could stay in character and reach over and reclip it. And as I touched the alligator clip to the igniter wire it suddenly occurred to me . . .

WHOOSH!

AGHHHHH!”

An enormous fireball filled the dark room. Young and old alike jumped backwards in their seats. There were “oohs and aahs.” Some of the kids yelled, “Cool!” I think I even heard an adult say, “I smell burning hair.”

In the smoke and darkness of the front of the room only a small flame flickered.

“Don’t just sit there with your mouth open, Kevin. Come here and put me out!”

The effectiveness of a good presentation is solely dependent upon the speaker’s ability to hold their audience’s attention. (A guy named Marty.)

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By Marty Mitchell

I’m Marty Mitchell, aka Captain Crash, the guy behind Mitchell Way. MitchellWay.com is the story of my misadventures in life and reflections on faith. ... Is Mitchell Way a state of mind? A real place? A way of life? Tough to say. You be the judge.

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