Mitchell Way
I knew a man named Bud. He was one of my scout masters. Bud was average height and build. He had little hair left on his head and what he did have, he combed over his bald scalp. Bud also had a glass eye. How he lost his eye, I do not remember, but some nights as we sat around the campfire, he would pop it into his hand just to gross us boys out.
It was a resounding crash. Life would not be the same. Not by my own choice, I became retired.
When my wife was away I took it upon myself to snoop in her private file cabinet. Going past the files on nutritional eating, aerobics, and personal training, I came across a file named “Wish List.” This piqued my curiosity and upon thumbing through various photos torn from the pages of Better Homes and Gardens, I came across a list, hand-written on a page of notebook paper. It looked like her criteria for a husband.
My wife and I have the same crossword puzzle app on our phones. Each day they send a new puzzle and it’s the same for everyone who has the app. At dinner, we both load the puzzle on our phones and have a race to see who can finish it first. In the two years that we’ve been competing, I can count on one hand, (which is missing a few fingers), the number of times I have beaten her.
Isaac Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
I have been known to be a grouch at times, maybe even a curmudgeon or as my kids likes to call me, Debbie Downer. I tend to pessimistically see the glass as half empty.
My wife says I drive a duffer car. It’s a 2005 Hyundai XG350 which I bought from my stepdad and it’s not at all sporty like the cars young kids drive but who cares, I’m 65. I think she just gets cranky when she follows me in her sporty Prius C and the whole way I am driving 5 mph under the speed limit with my left turn signal on.